


Shepard Writes (Sorta?) A Letter

by StrandsofNehn



Series: Viola Shepard [7]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/M, love letter, non wordy wordy shepard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-25 01:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4941571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrandsofNehn/pseuds/StrandsofNehn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 0300 and Shepard can't sleep for all the credit chits in the world. Or make any sort of sense. Shit, aren't words supposed to be easy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A (Shitty) Letter

Garrus,

Do you remember the first time I ever met you?

If I'm being honest I didn't until Ash said something about it a few days ago. Something about how the first time we met you were demanding a chance to take down Saren and now you're the Primarch's reaper advisor. (You're kickass babe) I'd forgotten, for some reason my first memory of you was of when you snipped that bastard shaking down Dr Michelle. (Who still has the hots for you, by the way and yes, I know it wasn't actually sniping but it was damn well close.) I remember being impressed, right after thinking 'who the fuck does this guy think he is? Batman?' (Archangel, I just had the human version (yours is much better).)

It kind of pissed me off, and made me more than a little surprised that I had forgotten. How could I ever forget anything that involves you? And now that I'm saying that, that seems stupid, it's not like you remember everything involving me. (I did remember to get some better dextro food from the Citadel you'll be pleased to know.) But forgetting something that changed my life, how can that be forgotten? Where would I be if I hadn't met you? No where I want to think about. Dead probably, with as many times you saved my ass (I've saved yours just as much- don't get cocky) where would I be if you died? God, I don't think I could do it. I would. I know I would, but I don't think I would make it through another collector base. I wouldn't have anything to come back for. Not enough. Maybe that's selfish.

It's probably selfish. Maybe it's okay if it is selfish. I've been through hell and back so many times I could give the grand tour with my eyes closed. I deserve something to go right. That's what we both wanted when we started this, yeah? For something to go right. (It did.) It went better, made me better. You always have had the uncanny ability to build me up and at the same time tear my defenses down. (It's a good thing, I'm reading this again and it didn't sound like a good thing- it is.) I don't think I'll ever understand how, but I'll always let you. Always; it's too lonely in my head without you. I don't even understand why I'm writing this. You're sleeping beside me and it's the deepest sleep I've seen from you since this all started and I know you won't give me shit for still being up though you should (maybe) but I just.

Maybe its just to tell you that you changed me Garrus Vakarian. Made me into a woman I am proud to be, not that I didn't do a lot of work to get here but, you made me softer in a way I don't think I could've managed on my own. I don't think I would've seen it as a good thing if I did. 'Ruthless calculus' there's been more than enough of that but, you were right. You always are with those things, you don't hold false hope, it's something I love about you. There will be more of it before the end I'm sure. Where one life is more important than the many, when the many outweigh the one...

When yours'- you, Tali, Grunt, Miranda, Anderson, James all of those I hold dear- will outweigh the one. Mine. And I just want you to know that when that time comes, I love you. I respect you. And I honor you enough to wish you to be happy after me. I don't want you to endure, I want you to live, laugh and kick ass until you're old and might keel over if you do actually try to kick someone in the ass. I want you to have kids with someone and bore your grandkids with stories from 'the good old days'. I want you to love again. I think- I know, that you are capable of enough love to do that. You were always stronger than I was. Am. And I believe in you like you have always believed in me.

I... I guess that's it. I know were not really the wordy type, but you know I always have to make a speech before the big mission.

You're waking up. I love you. Always.  
Vi


	2. Garrus Responds to a (Sorta) Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus' response to Shepard's letter to him. He's not that impressed. (Part 2 of "Shepard Writes a (Sorta) Letter," can be read as a stand alone) Short, sweet and to the point like our narrator.

Shepard,

Vi, I found the letter.

And as much as I love you, you're an idiot. (Have I mentioned that I love you?) A speech before a big mission. I don't need a speech. I just need you to understand that we're in this till the end. You're right, we're not big with words, we're better with signals- actions. In that way we could almost pass you off as turian. (I'm glad you're not, I'd miss your hair.) Don't hesitate to do what needs to be done, I'll always have your six, in a firefight and out. I wish you would have told me what you wrote, so we could have talked it out. (How very unturian of me.) But, I've thought about it and this letter is "putting the ball in your court" as Jimmy would say.

The odds have always been stacked against us, it's been that way since Saren and we've always made it out. Do not make the decision to die now. I need you to decide to blow the reapers to hell and live to tell about it. Don't give up. Not now. It's completely selfish but I think by now we deserve some selfishness. It's what's going to see us through to the other side.

Where else in the galaxy would I find someone like you?

G

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
